goomba: defined.

if you google it, as one might do when trying to learn about something that one knows nothing of, you will get links to the character displayed below. we'll use him as our jumping off point...
see those pointy teeth? watch out when you are kissing him... they are SHARP! and he will bite you! and leave a bruise! note that he has no arms. this is the most likely explanation as to why he doesn't call when he says he will... he can't dial the phone! observe how he appears to be in motion... that's because he's walking away from you, even though you are spectacular. but don't worry. check out the blank stare... there's no substance in there... what.so.ever. you're OBVIOUSLY better off without him.