ugh.

thinking about money gives me a headache. and makes me long for a latte. i took this the other day when i went to hang out by myself in public, pretending to like hanging out by myself in public. i'm beginning to realize that i'm lonely. i'm on a very individual trek, and i can't be too sure of when it will cease to be individual.

not that this makes any sense. but since classes are finished, for the next two years i'll be moving frequently. and though for the 1st six months at least, i'll be living or working with good friends, the prospect of not being able to settle in to a real routine for more than four weeks at a time has got me a little down today.

i think there's a delicate balance to life. and life in medical school is no different. i was always envious of karma and hot-T, because they had lives outside of school. karma had his wife, who he wanted to be with whenever there was no real need to study (which, who can blame him, really?) and hot-T had not only his girlfriend, but a whole host of other friends from college, etc. even down to big red and the man from china. they had eachother. and with the exception of hot-T and the couple of months karma has to travel, they will continue to have access to intimate relationships, while i simply will not.