catch up.

so i spent the last month curing cancer. some days were fine. others were really really hard. but i only actually almost cried once, which is WAY better than i anticipated. i'm a crier. i cry a lot. i was just not uber-emotional this month for who knows what reason. maybe because i was all out of tears from the previous month. who knows.

anyway. i was violated a couple of times this month, and i only share these stories so that i don't have to live the horror of them on my own... please forgive me... first time was by a gay 18 yr old kid who was asking me why he had trouble maintaining an erection when he was having anal sex with a condom on. and again by a 15 yr old kid (who has some pretty bad brain damage) who was really frustrated in the middle of the night one night and tore off his diaper and starts masturbating in the room. that wasn't really the violating part... that part was when his mom says to me, "i think maybe he just needs to ejaculate."

and because i forced you through that, i'll leave you with these... from the night that the girls and i went to cameron to see derek direct the king and i...

twitterpated.

unnamed.

my new car is super cute. and fun. and has a sunroof. and power doors and windows. and cruise control. fun.



so, the story behind deciding to buy the new car... a friend of mine is going through a really hard time and all of a sudden found himself in need of a car with no feasible way to get one. and then i started thinking. thinking about how many people helped me get that car... the one i got right after the accident when i had virtually no money. and realized that i no longer needed to be driving a car that was virtually given to me. and i truly felt like God was asking me to reach out to this guy. so i did. and i sold him my car. which meant i needed a new one... so i could get to work. so derek came down and we went car shopping. :)

******

speaking of derek. he's at cancer camp this week. and when people at work ask about him and i tell them that, he becomes that much greater in their eyes. and mine. i like being proud to talk to my friends about him. i like that people can't wait to meet him. and that they love him when they do. he's pretty amazing.

promises fulfilled.

scoring big time points.

what a special birthday. pictures to follow... let's just say this: customized coffee mug with our picture on it AND surprise happy birthday flowers at work? you are really, really good.

i like big butts and i cannot lie.

i ended my ER month right this evening. with a gigantic butt abscess. like, huge. as big as my fist. there's nothing quite as gratifying as cutting open an abscess and draining out the pus. like popping a giant pimple. on a kid's butt. i know it's gross. but you'll get over it.

baker's dozen.

i have recently become a fan of baking muffins. from scratch. i know, i know. hold your applause until the end please. it originated because i needed to use up some mushy bananas. so i googled a recipe... and it was REALLY good. but one of the people on my team that month was allergic to bananas. so i made some peach ones too by substituting peach applesauce for the banana mash. about two little tubs of applesauce worked about perfectly. so then i got a little daring for the next round, and made some with berry pomegranate applesauce with dried cranberries. and pumpkin chocolate chip. they were all really yummy. well, this week i have need to make muffins that would be palatable to a younger crowd, so i figured i'd just make plain chocolate chip... which i did today... so in place of the banana mash (supposed to be 3 bananas), i used about 1/2 a cup of milk and a tsp of vanilla... i'm not sure if it just wasn't ENOUGH milk or what, but the first round of muffins are a little dry and crispy. so i decided for the second round, i'd take them out a couple minutes earlier. they are less crispy, but still dry. so here's where you come in... do i just need to add MORE milk? or more something else? the batter seemed to be about the same consistency as it has for previous batches... i'm wondering though since the liquid part was ALL liquid, if it just evaporated faster than the liquid that comes in the form of mashed bananas...

up next: double chocolate chip (after i figure out how to fix this recipe, i'm going to add cocoa powder) and chocolate covered strawberry (where i'll mash strawberries and drop in dark chocolate chunks)... mmmmm...

stabbed through the heart by a little asian man.

living alone definitely has its perks. but i've been pretty lonely lately. and i just had a run-in with a lonely bug. i decided... after working all day long in the ER (which i HATE)... that i deserved some chinese delivery... there is a wonderful chinese place that delivers piping hot goods directly to my door in minutes (sometimes it takes a little longer, but seriously, one time it was 8 minutes...)... but i've discovered that asians must hate single people. you have to order $12 worth of food to get it delivered. so you order one meal and 27 side dishes, or you order 2 meals. for one person. and since i almost can't live without crab rangoon, i order that too... and so now i'm spending $17 to get the food i want at the price they'll send it for... and i'll eat chinese for a week. i guess there are worse things in life... but right now, i can't think of very many.

story in pictures. girl's weekend 4/2008.

my best college girls and i got together last weekend. when we are together, we try to solve the world's problems. we're pretty good at it. the conundrum of the year... the stuck cup... watch closely...


that there cup. it's stuck. and i don't mean just a little stuck. like real stuck. the teacher, the doctor, the architect, the accountant. we were all stumped by it. stuck, i tell you. stuck.


we tried shear will. we tried dish soap. still stuck.


we even tried WET dish soap. stuck.


we tried vegetable oil. say it with me. still stuck.

we tried putting it through the dishwasher. we tried putting it in the freezer. stuuuuuuck. and then, we called in a lifeline. and called the rocket scientist husband of the architect, who knew there must be a solution...


... and then we did it. we filled the sink with HOT water, and the inner (stuck) cup with ice water. and after a few minutes...


IT WORKED!! we felt like we had REALLY accomplished something. i screamed with joy so loudly that it scared the baby! ha. it was awesome!


and then we celebrated by going out for pedicures... i have the greatest friends.

how to woo me.

say something along the lines of... "i like when you wear make-up, but this natural look is really nice."

everybody's workin' for the weekend.

some of us just have to work LONGER for our weekends than others. a LOT longer. (please excuse my pity party...)

******

and because i have nothing cute or witty to say... i'll leave you with a picture of two cute and witty individuals... ;)

double trouble.

last night may have been my favorite date ever. derek and i went to dinner with jen and bob. it's the first of my "people" derek has met. i was mucho excited. everyone met at my house - jen and her boys, bob, melodie and her boys, and derek. mel and all the little boys stayed here. (thanks again, mel!) jen, bob, derek and i went for bbq. it was not long into the drive to the restaurant that i knew it was going to be a fantastically fun night. derek and bob have real similar senses of humor, and we pretty much laughed the night away. after dinner we got our bowl on... i ALMOST broke a hundred in our second game. afterwards, we forced the guys to go to the mall with us to get st. patrick's day t's. (don't feel bad for them. we were literally there less than 10 minutes). then we went to starbucks and sat chatting for a bit. (which is a tradition we started on our fourth or fifth date... he'd never been before... blaspheme!) i was real, real sad for the night to end. but alas, it was spring forward night... and i had to be at work at 6:30 this morning... and everyone had about an hour drive... so they all left... and i went to bed. but for real. maybe my favorite date so far.

about a boy.

i met warren a couple of months ago. his name isn't really warren (it's derek...) but it sure would be funny if it were, huh uncle bob?

he's a high school english teacher with a master's degree and aspires to principal one day... perhaps one day soon even...

he's a little quirky and mostly bald, which turns out, i like. he accidentally picked me up one day sporting some new face scruff and i liked it so much that he hasn't shaved it, even though he claims it drives him crazy...

he's pretty outspoken and dry witted. he makes me laugh. he thinks i'm funny (or at least pretends to)...

he has a heart of gold. he volunteers every summer at a camp for kids with cancer.

he loves Jesus.

i like him.

still blinking.

what's the most ridiculous thing you've done at 4 am? i accidentally woke up around 3, and i was wide awake and super motivated to clean my house... so i did... i scrubbed my bathroom, put away a couple loads of laundry, started a couple more loads of laundry (yes, i have too many clothes. it's not my fault.), dusted my bedroom furniture, windexed all my mirrors, took out all the garbage, started the dishwasher, rearranged my kitchen pantry, filed a bunch of mail, vacuumed (i should apologize to my neighbors for that)... it's been a very full day already... i just took some nyquil... so hopefully i'll be able to squeeze in a few more hours of glorious sleep... i hope the rest of you did a better job of sleeping tonight!

blink.

how come it's harder to sleep after you receive a phone call you may or may not have been waiting all evening for than it was before, when you were starting to think the call may or may not come. in other words... why in the world am i wide awake. i'd like to blame my current schedule... but a big part of me hopes it's something more.

validation. times two.

2/11
"Oh I was going to tell you, THANK YOU for the cholestrimine (sp?) vaseline goo stuff...his butt is almost all healed...it is still pretty pink but no longer BRIGHT red. YOU ARE AN AWESOME DOCTOR! HEART BIG TIME!"


2/12
"hey...

wanted to give you a compliment while i am thinking about it. linda, the nurse prac, just came into rounds and asked "who wrote the admission note for cole?" she thought it was top notch, very well done....she said it was easy to ready and said it was "attending level."

job well done....i am proud of you! it is great to see fellow DMU alums doing so dang well.

you go girl."

things that make you go "hmm."

i hate time to get up time. i used to think it was that i hated morning. now i realize, i just hate end of sleeping time.

night owl.

it's my turn... every intern does at least one month of nights, and this month is mine. it's not so bad really. there are 6 residents on, and we have a great group. i truly enjoy the company of my fellow owls. (that's what we are really called, by the way).

what i don't enjoy is this weird transition... going from days (like normal people) to nights (like... owls...) is hard... i did ok yesterday, mostly because they sent me home early for sounding like i was going to die. i slept for almost 10 hrs. but today. today not so much. i slept from about 9am to about 12:30... and i've just been laying in bed since. WISHING myself to sleep. without luck. it's going to be a rough night.

so my current schedule is sunday-thursday nights from 6:30 pm to about 8 am. it is admittedly a lot of hours. but do you see the weekly break in there? the break that some might refer to as a *weekend*??? this is the only month (with the exception of our one month that is "call free") where we have a weekly *weekend*... i'm more than a little excited about that! a LOT more than a little excited actually. :-)

realization.

i just decided... one of the worst parts of being a single girl and living alone... you have to kill all your own nasty home-invading bugs! eewww.

you probably didn't know.

i work more than i want to. two of my best friends are 11 years older and 11 years younger than i. i love commas. i have a secret obsession with panties. and picture frames.

i sleep surrounded by pillows because i like the feeling of being snuggled. amongst the pillows is one of feathers that may be as old as i am. it disgusts my friends and family alike, but i can't bear to get rid of it because it is so fabulously cozy.

my favorite colors are not single colors, but combinations of colors. i quote the movie my big fat greek wedding more than would be considered funny to most people. i have seen the movie annie more times than any other movie.

i shamelessly listen to the same song over and over again. i love my refrigerator families. cheese is one of my favorite foods. i always have room for ice cream. swaddling babies brings me great joy.

i love inside jokes. and people who think i'm funny. i'm too shy. i procrastinate too much. i'm afraid to be seen as ungrateful or unappreciative.

i love pedicures. i hate manicures. i have the most amazing eyes. i can't decide if i like laying on my couch or my bed more. i spend too much time waiting by the phone. i love text messages. getting paged at work makes me feel important.

i like to complain. i think flirting is fun. i'm ok with being seen as a damsel in distress. i hate pumping gas. i started drinking coffee because of peer pressure. i'm now addicted.

i hate my skin. black and white photos are my favorites. i always wanted to be a girl scout. and a little sister. i love to pluck my eyebrows. my fake fireplace is one of my favorite parts of my house. i like living alone more than i thought i would.

i keep it cold in my house so i can hibernate under the covers. i'm afraid of having a wedding day because i don't like to be the center of attention. i'm afraid of not having a wedding day. i have too many pairs of shoes.

and now you know.